Ebook Why You Should Give A Damn About Gay Marriage, by Davina Kotulski
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Why You Should Give A Damn About Gay Marriage, by Davina Kotulski
Ebook Why You Should Give A Damn About Gay Marriage, by Davina Kotulski
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About the Author
Davin Kotulski, Ph.D. is a Clinical Psychologist with deep roots in the freedom to marry movement. She has organized same-sex marriage gay pride contingents throughout Northern California, first with Californian's for Same Sex Marriage, and then with Marr
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Product details
Paperback: 152 pages
Publisher: Advocate Books (April 1, 2004)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1555838731
ISBN-13: 978-1555838737
Product Dimensions:
5.4 x 0.5 x 8.5 inches
Shipping Weight: 4.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
3.9 out of 5 stars
9 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#1,611,714 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
The intricate system of laws that protects heterosexual privilege while denying lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered (LGBT) persons the responsibilities, privileges, and benefits of civil marriage is another form of segregation - but made all the more insidious by its apparent invisibility. In her new book, Dr. Davina Kotulski, Ph.D., attempts to persuade us why civil marriage equality is an issue we should all, "give a damn about." This task would challenge any writer, given the immense scope of the subject and the skepticism with which this issue is still met by many well-meaning LGBT activists -- it is one thing to say "1,349 rights, benefits, and protections" but another entirely more daunting task to list and describe them while also developing a cohesive argument.Fortunately, Dr. Kotulski begins with the most important point of all. Second-class citizenship demeans our integrity; it assaults the liberty guaranteed us by the U.S. Constitution -- and the U.S. Supreme Court, it would seem, now agrees with us (just read the fine print of the Lawrence v. Texas ruling). In Dr. Kotulski's words, "The language of love has power, and we have been given a very slim piece of the pie and asked to stay in our corner of the room and eat it quietly ... we live a half-existence compared to our heterosexual friends."Dr. Kotulski is at her best when arguing that "Marriage Lite" (domestic partnerships, civil unions, reciprocal beneficiaries, etc.) is LGBT "Fool's Gold". These legal arrangements are only valid in their native states and most of the responsibilities, privileges, and benefits to which we have been denied access are enshrined in FEDERAL marriage, tax, social security, and inheritance laws anyway (for this reason, incidentally, the argument presented by many of our so-called political allies that this is a "states' rights" issue is a deceptive way of avoiding taking a position at all). And didn't the U.S. Supreme Court already determine in 1954 that "separate was not equal"? Dr. Kotulski offers her most compelling evidence when describing the process same-sex couples must endure to register a domestic partnership in California. The process, much more difficult to traverse than obtaining a simple marriage license, is itself demeaning because it reminds the same-sex couple of their second-class status.Although Dr. Kotulski has made a cohesive argument, the reader must be cautious to avoid missing the forest while wandering amongst the 1,349 trees. This book is best read in small portions; the subject matter is monotonous and tedious. But Dr. Kotulski has given us all many compelling reasons to "give a damn" about civil marriage equality.
This book is very biased. It was hard to read even as a homosexual with intent to marry. I was looking for more factual information to support my argument for a research paper but read a whole lot more overly-opinionated monologue than fact. It felt like I was observing a one-sided argument at the bar.A fun read if you relish in your anger towards the hindering of gay rights, but it won't do much for you if you are trying to make a healthy argument.
In Why You Should Give a Damn About Gay Marriage, clinical psychologist and activist Davinia Kotulski explains in plain language why everyone, gay and straight, needs to give a damn about the issue of gay marriage (a general term the author uses to encompass marriage equality for same-sex and transsexual partners). Marriage affords heterosexual folks some 1,049 federal rights and protections and, on average, 300 additional rights per state. Sure, a committed gay couple could hire a lawyer to draft wills, powers of attorney, medical directives, and a whole briefcase full of papers, but for those to work, they'd have to be toted on every vacation and to every consumer interaction. Many rights remain firmly out of the grasp for anyone who doesn't fit the American image of a marriage for one man and one woman.Kotulski's slim paperback volume lists the rights which are out of the reach of gays and transsexual citizens of America and contains rebuttals to many of the common arguments against gay marriage. Sure, marriage is in the Bible as being between a man and a woman, but that traditional view of marriage one in which women were the property of their husbands, and we've certainly moved past that as a society!Kotulski peppers her book with anecdotes about real-world couples who were denied their basic civil rights and pursuit of happiness due to the inequality in the American institution of marriage. Gay partners can be forced to testify against their spouses in court, while heterosexuals are afforded spousal privilege. Immigration protections and rights do not apply to gay partners. Social Security, life insurance, pension, employer health insurance, and even 9/11 survivor benefits are denied to gay partners in committed, decades-long relationships. In a strange twist of fate, federal ethics codes of conduct apply to straight spouses, but not to gay partners, so the unethical senator could have a gay partner accepts all the bribes he or she wanted! Of course, right now, gays do escape the "marriage penalty" in the tax code, but shouldn't we make them shoulder their fair share of the tax burden?I highly recommend Kotulski's book to all readers regardless of personal or political orientation. Its one weakness is the lack of a cohesive structure - Kotulski wants to describe law, history, policy, and society as well as recount personal anecdotes and give gay readers marriage ceremony advice. If she had limited herself to an academic study of marriage, supported by anecdotal narratives, I would have been able to give this title five out of five stars. As it is, this is an important title to reconsider during the 2008 election season, at a time when many candidates seem unwilling to touch the "marriage issue" in much detail. Kotulski reminds us just why we should all give a damn about gay marriage.
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